Muscle Bear in Gay Porn

Muscle Bears are a unique part of our culture. Not just sexually, but as a whole. Many people won’t even know the term “muscle bear” or “muscle daddy” but if you try to describe it, they “know” what you’re talking about. Those big, sweaty, hairy guys with all the muscles and the huge nipples, wearing leather and looking generally menacing. They are the classic stereotype of what people believe a gay biker to be. Because, for most people, their only experience is either the Leatherman from the Village People or the tongue-in-cheek parody you find slipped into mainstream television every once in a while. They see the stereotype, they see the leather, and they dismiss what they see as some knuckle-dragger that’s as likely to club you over the head as he is to stink like onions. This is why I feel bad for those people. They will never understand or see how truly beautiful a leather relationship can be; and not just between a muscle bear and his boy. This extends outward to the larger world of Dominance and Submission, Daddies and their pups, and specifically the dynamic that surrounds power exchange.

What Is A Muscle Bear

Let’s start with the most obvious question first. If you are someone that has never heard the term “muscle bear”, you might be shaking your head at me a little and blinking. (shut up, I can hear you rolling your eyes at me). According to Wikipedia “In male gay culture, a bear is often a larger, hairier man who projects an image of rugged masculinity.” Personally I think that’s a bit dry of an explanation but it gives you a starting point. Some might call them a “man’s man” (quite literally in the gay culture) but they are typically very much the Alpha, or Packleader. The structure of their society is fascinating in that it revolves around the same aspect as wolves, or bears. Primal and ferocious to the untrained eye, but if you look past it, you can see a love and devotion that doesn’t compare to anything else. Typically, a muscle bear is someone older or, at the least, the most dominant of his pack. He’s also, as the title suggests, quite physically strong. I’ve seen muscle bears pick up their boys and hold them against their chest while walking around a room. I’ve also seen the truly magnificent moment when two bears are fucking and the raw power and aggression behind that is enough to leave me naked, wet, and quivering in a corner.  (What? You think I didn’t know I’m a complete pervert? I own that shit, beautiful)

You also have sub-sets within that umbrella. For example, porn legend Nick Capra, considers himself to be more of a ‘Daddy’ than a ‘Bear’ while Muscle Bear Alpha Will Angell (that link is SO NSFW) is the very definition of a muscle bear. Both are dominant, (both are sexy as hell) but their approaches are radically different. And those differences are what makes classification so difficult.

Who Loves A Bear?

Typically, from what I’ve seen and experienced, quite a few people. Like the formidable King, there are people from all walks of life and all backgrounds who are attracted to the unattainable; working to be noticed, to be selected.  Bears look intimidating but imagine what that would feel like if all that raw power and masculinity were protecting you. Imagine how safe you would feel to have someone that would stand in front of a threat and growl until it leaves you alone. That’s the pull … the allure … but that’s also a very general BDSM response. Someone dominant enough to take control and own it, but tender enough to cradle you against their chest and let you fall asleep in their arms. It’s the power that you are giving up to him (or her) in exchange for his protection and sharing the essence of who you are for him to love and nurture.

Yes, I said nurture. No it wasn’t a typo. An Alpha Bear will absolutely love and nurture his boys, pups, and others in his Pack, in a way that surpasses just sex or power. Muscle bears aren’t exclusive in this, by any means, and it’s the most beautiful relationship I’ve had the privilege of seeing. I had the opportunity to ask Nick about his attraction to pups, or younger men, and whether or not it had to do with protection and possession. His response is beautiful in it’s simplicity.

“I don’t feel the “ownership” quality with pups.  I do however love to nurture and guide them.”

This is what makes the entire relationship work. Whether you want to protect and possess, or just help them to find their way in the world, the urge to guide and nurture is universal. While I didn’t have the chance to speak with him before I published, perusing the media he and his Pack make available, one look at Will Angell and you would see a man quite intimidating to look at but his love and commitment to his Pack is unmistakable. He loves his boys and it’s obvious in everything that he says and does, even when he’s using them like a breeder sow. (And btw? Holy hell are his videos with his boys hot!).

But … What About The Gay Porn?

Like most things, porn is a reflection of a culture, not the book by which it is “done properly”. (Brace yourself … lesbians don’t scissor like that all the time either). So the movies that you see or the parody on the television (Anyone else remember that episode of Supernatural? Big Chief?) are just that … reflections. They are the fantasy put forward, sometimes hyper-exaggerated and sometimes underplayed, to entice and arouse the senses. Give you a peek into the world from the relative safety of your own room/bed/hotel. In much the same way that phone sex provides you a safe place to explore other fetishes, such as sissification, cum-eating, strapons (my personal favourite), or just the idea of being absolutely verbally abused by someone (also my favourite. Don’t judge me. I like making men cry), porn gives you the chance to experience it on your own time and your own agenda. Occasionally, this leads to a curiosity that leads to acting on your fantasy either with a professional (which I recommend highly) or with a like-minded friend.

NOTE: Whether you pursue this with a pro or an amateur, if you are acting out a fantasy of any kind, discuss your limits and desires ahead of time. Like meet your friend for coffee two or three days ahead of time and have the slightly embarrassing talk. Hold nothing back, even if it’s uncomfortable for you to say it. A professional will be much easier to talk to because they can read between the lines and pick up where your fantasy stops to make it even better.

Is There A Female Version of A Muscle Bear?

While I would love to write ten-thousand words on what it is to be a female bear, I can’t say that I have ever run into anyone who identifies as such and a Google search did not bring back any results. That’s not to say idea doesn’t exist but the terminology is different. I can tell you that as an Alpha Female, I have the same drive to protect and possess what’s mine. Many people refer to me as “Daddy” or “Sir” despite the fact that I present as a femme. (Yes, I’m genderqueer and yes, I will rake your eyes out with my fabulous nails). Oftentimes this is done before I even know about it. As my wife once so lovingly put it, “People can just see the Dyke in you.”

I understand the emotional tie and the need to dominate; the need to take power that is so freely offered by a treasure of a submissive, whether boy or girl (or gurl or boi for that matter). It quite literally feeds that dominance that rolls around inside of me, demanding to be let out. Sometimes it comes out as sadism and sometimes it comes out as praise with a bamboo cane across your arse. But when the crying is done … and oh, I do LOVE the crying … I can hold you in my lap, stroke your hair, and tell you what a good pup you were for me. And I do that because I want you to be proud of what you’ve done for me. Not because we’ll do it again. Not because you’re here with me. But because I want you to understand your value and your worth. I want you to grow and become the person you are meant to be, whoever that is.

Because we love you.

Shit that was a lot of writing, wasn’t it? Now I have to get back to writing His Strength so my editor doesn’t yell at me and withhold cookies.

Feel free to leave a comment letting me know your thoughts or you can find me on social media by following the links below:

XO

D. Jordan Padrona
http://djordanpadrona.com
@DJordanPadrona
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I’m powered by coffee, wine, and sarcasm
I write fantastically filthy pornography
Sometimes I record it
Hey I also wrote a book! If you’re into Alphas or the Supernatural, you might like my urban fantasy novel I wrote.
XO

D. Jordan Padrona

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I’m powered by coffee, wine, and sarcasm
I write fantastically filthy pornography (original and fanfiction)
Sometimes I record it (audio producer)

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